He Loves Me... NOT

On Tonight's episode of "He's Just Not That Into you" 🤷🏾‍♀️ :

There once was this guy who literally searched me out and made himself a presence in my life daily. Everything he did said "I love who you are and I want you as a consistent part of my life". 🤗

For weeks, there wasn't a day we went without speaking and we seemed to be growing into the kind of couple I've always wanted to be a part of. 🤞🏾

I was hesitant because I feared disappointment, but I was open and excited about the potential of building something solid with someone legit. 💪🏽

Well, one day things got weird... and as the days and weeks went on things got even more weird. All of a sudden he was always busy or going through something (therefore needing space of course!). When I expressed how this was making me feel he WENT off! He even hit me with the "you're not going to rush me into a relationship" AND the "you knew I didn't want a relationship right now from day 1" (I didn't, but it doesn't matter. From that point on I knew FOR SURE!)... 🤦🏾‍♀️

Truth is I wasn't looking for anything either, but the way he showed up in my life really impressed me and it made me not only realize that I wanted more, but it made me think HE wanted more. 😭

So, here I was, left not only with feelings of disappointment and rejection, but also still stuck with an almost incurable case of the heart eyes. 😍😔

When I would run into him while out and about, my heart would sink into my stomach... I found myself writing texts I'd never send, writing letters I knew I'd never mail.... it was horrible, okay?! 😬

The weight of knowing that I could send a text and I may or may not get a text back was SO heavy. I couldn't understand WHY the change and WHY yet another person's growth had to come at the cost of my heart. Y'ALL, I was exasperated. This was a different (yet familiar) kind of loneliness.

I'm not sure what my lesson is in that experience--- even now that some time has passed... but I wanted to document a time when my smile wasn't necessarily based on my circumstance.

I want anyone reading this to see that there was a time when my love life wasn't great, because BEHBEY--- when 💍MY HUSBAE💍 finds me, y'all need to know that it was TRULY a journey. #ThatIsAll

❤Your Favorite Bachelorette 😘

#love #romance #men #women #relationships #journey #bachelorette #bachelor